Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
