you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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