dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
