Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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