thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
