u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
