The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
