She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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