I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize