we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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