Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm too high and old for this...
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
