You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
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he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
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I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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