You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
