All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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