I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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