I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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