Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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