Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize