I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize