glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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