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• (323): View more from California

  rhymes with "ouble enetration"

  Fav 33 4261 982

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.

  Fav 14 4913 886

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.

  Fav 11 3044 1306

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  we didnt even have break up sex...

  (1-816): View more from Missouri

  you had it for us with someone else...

  Fav 18 2265 7061

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  19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.

  Fav 12 2076 1239

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.

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• (514): View more from Quebec

  the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon

  (514): View more from Quebec

  what does alcohol mean

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...

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• (716): View more from New York

  Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.

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• 

  The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (217): View more from Illinois

  I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.

  Fav 2 32 132

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.

  Fav 1 8 69

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