rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.