Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

   Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard. 

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  (734): Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.  http://tfl.nu/9e9a
  Replies (4) Good night (894) Bad night (971)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.

  (646): View more from New York

  I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.

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  (360): I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am. (646): I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ. http://tfl.nu/g49z
  Replies (13) Good night (625) Bad night (1181)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.

  (906): View more from Michigan

  so you're not coming in to work today?

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  (231): I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops. (906): so you're not coming in to work today? http://tfl.nu/mm6u
  Replies (13) Good night (1408) Bad night (4074)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling

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  (208): opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling http://tfl.nu/a6db
  Replies (11) Good night (6255) Bad night (663)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.

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  (312): dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it. http://tfl.nu/1896
  Replies (22) Good night (984) Bad night (8372)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.

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  (704): Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some. http://tfl.nu/ntfp
  Replies (12) Good night (1306) Bad night (5346)
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  (925): View more from California

  I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.

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  (925): I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands. http://tfl.nu/9x0j
  Replies (22) Good night (6550) Bad night (1332)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma

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  (484): I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma http://tfl.nu/d8kr
  Replies (9) Good night (955) Bad night (3294)
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  (631): View more from New York

  OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester

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  (631): OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester http://tfl.nu/vz3v
  Replies (16) Good night (1092) Bad night (4168)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.

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  (417): As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits. http://tfl.nu/fap8
  Replies (17) Good night (949) Bad night (3014)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.

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  (720): maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on. http://tfl.nu/wqnd
  Replies (9) Good night (1337) Bad night (1115)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.

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  (785): if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start. http://tfl.nu/i0wv
  Replies (16) Good night (801) Bad night (1310)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?

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  (828): he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me? http://tfl.nu/mhv8
  Replies (4) Good night (483) Bad night (1041)
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  (518): View more from New York

  If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.

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  (518): If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd. http://tfl.nu/04nl
  Replies (8) Good night (907) Bad night (457)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  We were licking ciroc off the poker table

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  (908): We were licking ciroc off the poker table http://tfl.nu/515k
  Replies (0) Good night (280) Bad night (646)

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