Texts From Last Night

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  (206): View more from Washington

  It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.

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  (206): It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts. http://tfl.nu/etp3
  Replies (1) Good night (824) Bad night (1023)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.

  (214): View more from Texas

  round 2?

  (972): View more from Texas

  EVER.

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  (972): you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again. (214): round 2? (972): EVER. http://tfl.nu/6p06
  Replies (10) Good night (1178) Bad night (3634)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me

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  (940): there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me http://tfl.nu/wugh
  Replies (65) Good night (906) Bad night (20448)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.

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  (940): talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex. http://tfl.nu/816e
  Replies (21) Good night (4433) Bad night (1228)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.

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  (865): I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this. http://tfl.nu/mix4
  Replies (15) Good night (5274) Bad night (899)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd

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  (940): Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd http://tfl.nu/3aq9
  Replies (5) Good night (2648) Bad night (1310)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar

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  (313): My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar http://tfl.nu/fy9n
  Replies (6) Good night (3262) Bad night (737)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing

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  (513): All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing http://tfl.nu/d7sz
  Replies (1) Good night (623) Bad night (1185)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.

  (1-310): View more from California

  Shall we take a trip back?

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  (310): Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times. (1-310): Shall we take a trip back? http://tfl.nu/btgk
  Replies (6) Good night (1925) Bad night (571)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.

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  (973): But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing. http://tfl.nu/ee1i
  Replies (1) Good night (677) Bad night (490)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?

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  (714): Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit? http://tfl.nu/0nii
  Replies (5) Good night (1156) Bad night (624)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka

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  (916): I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka http://tfl.nu/57f9
  Replies (1) Good night (1004) Bad night (423)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.

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  (717): I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets. http://tfl.nu/qvke
  Replies (9) Good night (1857) Bad night (502)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.

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  (972): It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night. http://tfl.nu/xja7
  Replies (0) Good night (389) Bad night (601)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.

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  (513): I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out. http://tfl.nu/5bcz
  Replies (0) Good night (202) Bad night (414)

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