u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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