i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Randomize
