Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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