if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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