I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
