apparently the secret to your success is patron
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
