I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
