i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I am one with the molecules
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize