His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize