girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
