Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
