he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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