just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
