I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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