im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I need a beard to bite.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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