You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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