Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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