I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
So much rum. So many feels.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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