i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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