Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Randomize
