he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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