ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
