Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
