Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
My breasts were aching with rage.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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