im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
