Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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