Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
