I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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