so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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