5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
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You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize