sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
