bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
