dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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